04 Jan Controlling Your Emotions – How To Prevent Marriage Fatigue
How are you doing with controlling your emotions?
Controlling your emotions, especially when you perceive that you have been offended by a simple statement that your spouse spoke to you without intending to shame, blame, or belittle you is crucial.
The key point that you should understand is that your spouse never intended to offend you with what they said and 9 times out of 10 you know this to be true or at least you should know it.
What do you think?
Be honest, and if you are, you’ll quickly realize that the main reason why you got offended in the first place is because you didn’t take the time to consider what your spouse was saying to you, or you jumped to a quick conclusion and misinterpreted the words your spouse was trying to say to you. Controlling your emotions is vital.
What’s the outcome?
Becoming instantly upset or overly angry at simple innocent statements causes what I call, marriage fatigue, especially if it’s done on a frequent or consistent basis. This is where your spouse becomes overwhelmed by your continual emotional eruptions, which weakens and eats away at the trust, intimacy, hope, and confidence of your marriage and it also causes the lines of communication to be either shut down temporarily or it could cause a long-term shut down as well.
How to resolve marriage fatigue
When this happens in your marriage, I recommend taking the following steps.
1. Take a time out as soon as you feel yourself getting upset over what has been said to you or when you see that your spouse is getting upset over what you said to them.
It is important that you allow this to happen and not continue to try and get your point across. Doing this will only make the situation worst.
2. Pray and ask God to help you understand why you became upset over what was said or why your spouse got upset over what you said.
3. Apologize to your spouse for getting upset. Use I feel statements to let them know how you felt about what they said to you. If you found that you said something to your spouse that was offensive please apologize, however, if you found that you didn’t say anything that was offensive use I feel statements to allow your spouse to know how their actions affected you.
I feel as though you were accusing me or putting me down by what you said or what you did.
I feel hurt and very disappointed every time you get upset with me when I’m only trying to help.
4. The most important thing to do is to get to the root of why your spouse got upset or why you became sensitive to what was said to you. Think about the situation and again ask God to give you a better understanding.
Do you need help in preventing marriage fatigue? We would like to help!