04 Sep How To Develop Better Intimacy Through Intimate Moments
Marriage Greatness Principle
When couples learn how to develop better intimacy through intimate moments, Great Things Happen!
If you need help establishing intimate moments click here to schedule your free consultation.
WHAT IS INTIMACY
Intimacy is about feeling close, connected, and tied to a specific person that you have some type of relationship with. It’s also about sensing that you are deeply loved, appreciated, and cared for in the relationship as well. The relationship could be one that is romantic, such as a marriage. It could also be a domestic relationship, like the one you have with your family. And the relationship could also be a personal one that you have with a friend. However, the relationship type that we will focus on in this article will be the romantic type, specifically marriage.
MEASURING YOUR INTIMACY
You should know that the intimacy described above will be felt, sensed, or experienced at various levels in your marriage by you. The more you can internally sense and experience the results of intimacy, the higher the level of intimacy will be perceived in your marriage. Therefore, if you want the perceived level of intimacy between you and your spouse to be greater than what it is right now, then you will need a plan that will show you how to develop better intimacy.
This article can be your plan. It will show you how to develop better intimacy through intimate moments. Intimate moments are various intimate activities that you and your spouse can participate in that can help you develop better intimacy between the two of you. You will learn more about these activities later in this article.
As you read this article, understand that intimacy is subjective. It is perceived differently from person to person. This means that you and your spouse will need to communicate what intimacy looks like for the two of you. When you do this, you will be able to discover intimate moments that can help you develop the intimacy that both of you are looking for and hoping for. Also, please understand that marriage is about two people working together with God to produce the best marriage possible, and not about one person trying to dominate or control the direction of the marriage to get their own way.
If you need help putting this plan into action, click here to schedule your free consultation.
We will begin the plan by asking a question that will help you to start thinking about the level of intimacy in your marriage.
You can click here to read more about the types of intimacy you can have in your marriage.
Every time you willingly decide to be intimate in your marriage, you build upon the possibility of this meaningful connection becoming a reality. Because of this, you should make an effort to be intimate in your marriage as much as possible. You can do this by participating in various intimate activities which equate to intimate moments.
These intimate activities will vary from couple to couple. However, holding hands, sharing hearts, and spending time together can be a good starting point for you and your spouse. But beware of the barriers that will pop up to interrupt your efforts to establish intimate moments in your marriage. These are robbers of the intimacy that you are attempting to develop between you and your spouse.
If you need help with establishing intimate moments click here to schedule a free consultation.
Intimacy Robbers & Barriers
In short, these robbers are bitterness and resentment. They entered into your marriage through unresolved conflicts and challenges. These are what I call internal barriers because they come from within your marriage. Barriers and robbers can also enter your marriage from an external source as well. These are friends, family members, and sometimes coworkers who have either been given too much access to the personal issues of your marriage or have been relied on too much for the support of your marriage.
Click here to read more about bitterness in marriage and how to recognize it.
At this point, you shouldn’t focus too much on the external factors. However, don’t let them get any worse by extending their reach into your marriage. Your main focus, right now, should be on resolving your unresolved conflicts and challenges. Once you’ve found a way to do that, the external robbers and barriers will have taken care of themselves.
As mentioned earlier, the robbers and barriers bitterness, and resentment enter your marriage through unresolved conflicts and challenges. This means that the only way to rid your marriage of these intimacy consumers who are blocking you from having intimate moments and developing better intimacy is to resolve your unresolved conflicts and challenges. This is easier said than done, but not impossible, especially when you add God to the equation. This is the best way for you to overturn the internal factors that keep you from developing better intimacy in your marriage.
Click here to learn more about adding God to the equation.
The Plan to resolve conflict so you can establish intimate moments
When you make light of or are unable to resolve the conflicts and challenges that are consuming your marriage, you can be sure that bitterness and resentment will soon take control of your marriage. When bitterness and resentment, do take control of your marriage, you will begin to lose sight of some of the great benefits and features that you once enjoyed in your marriage, such as intimacy, trust, and good communication. You can prevent this from happening in your marriage by following three simple steps, that will help you keep bitterness and resentment from controlling your marriage. These steps come from our article Changing How You Do Conflict.
- Start with recognizing that there is a problem.
Until we recognize and admit there is a problem, we will never solve the conflict that tears at our marriage.
Romans 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”
Romans 14:19 – “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”
- Pray and ask God for the solution.
When you and your spouse discover that you are unable to resolve your conflict, pray and be specific with your prayer. Don’t offer a generic prayer, but make it personal to the conflict that you are having.
1 Peter 5:7 – “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
- Be willing to accept and follow the solution that God shows you.
Remove pride and make an effort even if your spouse is not willing to do the same.
James 4:7 – “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
Proverbs 11:2 – “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Galatians 6:9 – “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Here are some Intimate moments that you can have that will allow you to develop better intimacy
As you learn to resolve your unresolved conflicts, you will be able to establish intimate moments that allow you to develop better intimacy in your marriage. The following is a non-exhaustive list of possible intimate moments that you could have with your spouse that can develop better intimacy in your marriage.
- Walking and holding hands
- Communicating how you feel without anger
- Not being judgmental
- Excepting your spouse for who they are
- Changing habits that place undue stress on your marriage
- Giving each other compliments that are meaningful
- Being thankful
- Being appreciative
- Forgiving and asking for forgiveness
- Being patience
- Setting goals together
- Being able to communicate from the heart
- Admitting when you are wrong
- Being willing to gratify one another sexually.
- Offering a well-needed apology
- Set boundaries that keep your marriage safe
Consider the following scripture –
Colossians 3:14 “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony” (ESV)
Ephesians 4:26-27 (ESV) – 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil
Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV) – 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.