17 Jul 10 Reasons
Move Your Marriage to Greatness
MARRIAGE GREATNESS LESSONS
Today’s LESSON – In this post you’re going to learn 10 REASONS why you should stop trying to teach your spouse a lesson
We all from time to time, rather we are aware of it or are willing to admit that we are doing it or not, try to teach our spouse a lesson that we think or believe they need to learn.
An example of this would be, purposely withholding something from your spouse in an effort to teach them a lesson on how it feels to have someone withhold something from them. Even though the reasons why you would withhold something from your spouse may vary from the aforementioned reason, nevertheless, it’s still being done to teach your spouse a lesson that you want them to learn.
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Another example of this would be, deliberately speaking to your spouse in a way that was rude or unkind, in an attempt to teach them a lesson on how it feels to be spoken to in a rude or unkind manner. You are also hoping, by doing this, to teach your spouse a lesson on the importance of not speaking to you this way again.
There are many other examples that can be given on how we try to teach our spouse a lesson, but I believe you get the picture.
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During the process of trying to teach your spouse a lesson, you can run into many complications, which is why you should stop trying to teach your spouse a lesson that God never told you or intended for you to teach them. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t express your concerns to your spouse, but that you shouldn’t express your concerns to your spouse by trying to teach them a lesson.
If God wants your spouse to learn something, He knows how to teach them the lesson better than you and I can do it.
Consider the following passage of scripture concerning this –
Isaiah 55:8 (ESV) – For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
Here is a non-exhaustive list of ten (10) reasons why you should stop trying to teach your spouse a lesson. These are the complications that you most likely will run into during the process of trying to teach your spouse a lesson, that you think or believe they should learn.
1. It will most likely become too personal and in all probability spin out of control.
2. You will more than likely lack the needed compassion while teaching the lesson.
3. Too many of your negative feelings and emotions will be involved in the process
4. Your timing will be off.
5. Your spouse will not be in the mood to be taught a lesson that they don’t believe they need to learn.
6. You have already tried to teach them the same or different lesson in the past with negative results
7. Your methods are not God’s methods
8. You more than likely will be harsh while trying to teach your spouse the lesson.
9. The lesson that you are trying to teach could be more about what you need to learn than about what your spouse needs to learn.
10. As mentioned already, God may have never told you to teach the lesson anyhow.
Instead of trying to teach your spouse a lesson that you think or believe they need to learn, try doing the following three (3) things that can bring about the needed change in your spouse better than you trying to teach them a lesson to bring about the change.
1. Pray before you take any action.
Everything that you do should begin with prayer and not just any prayer, but a specific prayer that reflects the specific situation that you are facing. Make sure that you talk to God about whatever you may think your spouse may need to learn. They may indeed need to learn the lesson, but it would turn out much better if you would only allow God to handle the situation.
2. Be patient and don’t move ahead of God
As God is working behind the scenes and underneath the surface, be patient and allow God to do His perfect work. Just because you don’t see results as quick as you think you should, doesn’t mean that God is not working on your spouse. While you wait, take into consideration that your spouse must be willing to yield to God before change can happen, and you can’t rush that, no matter how hard you try.
3. Believe that God will do what He says He will do
In order to have patience, you must first have Faith, which is believing that God will do what He told you He would do. As mentioned earlier, you may not see quick results, but don’t let that deter you from believing what God has told you about the situation. Every time you don’t have faith, refer back to what God has told you and regain your confidence through faith that God will do it.
If you haven’t heard from God yet about the situation, then refer back to number one which is to pray and listen for an answer from God, and don’t do anything until you are confident that you have heard from God.
There are at least three ways in which you can hear from God,
1. Through His Word (The Holy Bible)
2. Through your inner thoughts that line up with The Word of God
3. Through a person that God may use to speak to you, such as your pastor, a preacher, a coworker, or anyone else that can and will speak directly to your situation as God gives them the words to speak.
Key Marriage Scriptures for today’s devotion:
James 4:6 (ESV) – But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:17 (ESV) – So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
Other key marriage scriptures to read –
Proverbs 11:2, Ephesians 5:22-33, Galatians 5:16-26, Colossians 3:17, Philippians 4:6-7, James 1:5, James 5:16, 1 Peter 3:7, and 1 John 1:9
Next steps to take:
Read all of the key marriage scriptures for today’s lesson. Learn to recognize God’s voice and obey what He has told you to do concerning the lessons that you think your spouse needs to learn. Be forgiving, give grace, and know that some of the same lessons that you want your spouse to learn may very well be the lesson that you need to learn as well.
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